John Denver's beautiful music has been very meaningful for me since 1970. His song, "The
Wings That Fly Us Home," expresses perfectly the deep rapport I feel with John; "For You," my love for my daughter, "To
The Wild Country," my need and appreciation for my life in the Rocky Mountains. My personal values are in most of his
songs.
I had a strong premonition of John's tragic death a few days before his plane crash. Camping
in the mountains, a heavy dark cloud of sadness suddenly descended upon me when I happened to think of John...very disturbing.
It was a depressing emotional experience for me to know of his impending death. I love and miss him. Fly in peace
and joy, John. You are Home.
Christine's internationally popular book, "A Mountain In The Wind," explores the spirituality
of this extraordinary man. I recommend John's music, his autobiography ("Take Me Home"), and my daughter's book to you.
Truth is my highest priority in life. Only truth is reality...all else is illusion.
It is my observation and personal experience that integrity of character is rarely valued. Most of you are spiritually
corrupt. Your highest priority in life is acquisition of money, possessions, and social status...power, not truth.
You believe the delusion your identity is your name and body, not spirit...the holy child of God you are. Few
of you have the courage to relinquish your ego and live in the spirit...loving your brothers and sisters. Your misbegotten
ego, the false self you made as a child, does not wish anyone well, including yourself. Fear, not love, is its foundation
and motivation. It is totally insane, and will march you straight to defeat throughout your life. Happiness will
always elude you until you decide to relinquish it. Choose again...you made your ego...you can eliminate it.
Mistakes are for correction. You have suffered from numerous wrong decisions
since the birth of your ego. Are you confused and unhappy enough now to reconsider your original mistake?
You never make decisions alone. You either listen and obey the loud demands of your ego, or the soft voice of the
Holy Spirit. The ego will always lie to you and others; it is the cause of all evil
in the world. The Holy Spirit will lovingly help you experience the peace and joy you have long denied yourself.
You are a holy child of God, beautiful and perfect. Love, not power, is your true identity and function. Relinquish
your ego...live in the spirit. Make truth your highest priority in life.
Anger is never justified under any circumstances. It is always of the ego
regardless of the provocation. You may be completely right about a matter, but wrong if you succumb to the ego's temptation
to be angry.
There are only two emotions: love and fear. All other "emotions" are forms
or different expressions of these two. Love is of the spirit, fear of the ego. The religious concept of "Satan,"
although false, is a useful one here. Consider your ego as your personal satan which intends only evil for you and others.
Anger is the immediate reaction of the ego whenever its agenda is frustrated. The ego was conceived and is motivated
by fear. Realize that all anger derives from your ego's fear. Your satan controls your mind and behavior whenever
you become angry. Again, anger is never justified although it always seems reasonable at the time. However,
it will only be destructive in your life.
I saw an interesting film, "Instinct," several years ago. The protagonist, anthropologist
Ethan Powell, portrayed by Anthony Hopkins, has very strong similarities to me in personality, values, and life experiences.
It is a powerful drama depicting the insanity of modern civilization, and the spiritual corruption it causes in human
beings.
Most of you have lost your instinct for Life; you live irrational destructive lives which
harm yourself and others, including other species. Much evil is committed by modern civilization.
John Denver's songs, "American Child," "To The Wild Country," and "Sweet Surrender,"
beautifully express the return to sanity. I recommend the film and these three songs to you.
I have had several mysterious experiences during the past 20 years backpacking and camping
in the mountains...one of which I will share with you now. Perhaps I will write of others in future entries.
Late one hot summer afternoon, I sat down on a boulder about 25 yards below a 14,000
ft. mountain peak. The sun had already passed behind the peak to the west...my location
was the east slope. I was almost exhausted from the physical stress of climbing the mountain for hours with a
heavy backpack. Drinking more water from my canteen and closing my eyes in fatigue, I began meditating on the scripture
verse "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Restored, I stood 15 minutes later and continued my steep
climb to the peak.
My daughter had been watching my slow ascent up the mountain from my cabin far below
with our powerful 200x-400x telescope. However, I still appeared as only a small figure to her barely visible sometimes;
only my movement identified me.
Elated to have finally reached the peak, resting and preparing to make camp, I called
Christine on my transceiver. I was surprised to hear her immediate agitated question about my safety. I assured
her I was well, and asked why she was so upset. She told me of suddenly seeing a brilliant distinct angular white light
emanating from where I had rested below which nearly filled the telescope's image...so bright she had to look away from the
eyepiece. The light disappeared after about 10 minutes, but she was unable to locate me again until I radioed her from
the peak. She had been very disturbed for 45 minutes that a strange unfortunate event had befallen me.
I have no rational explanation for this extraordinary experience which she
related to me. My eyes were closed as I rested, so I was unaware of the light. There was absolutely nothing unusual
around me when I stood and continued my climb. Christine saw the light...I did not. I have pondered
the possibility that my meditation somehow produced this phenomenon, but do not know its meaning. However, it does
seem to have a spiritual significance.
I was born in America. However, I have always felt German since childhood.
Reincarnation, if true, would be a possible explanation.
I "knew" as a child Germany was my homeland, not America. My unhappiness in feeling
a foreigner among Americans was impossible to resolve. But I distinctly remember being delighted the rare times I heard
German language and music, or saw pictures of German architecture in books. Also, as an adult, doing some simple activity,
I have sometimes had a sudden memory of some aspect of a previous life...wearing a military uniform and boots, for example.
A weird experience.
I now have an adequate collection of German music; I frequently listen to it as I
work around my cabin, or do my barbell and hiking exercise. The music fulfills to some degree a deep heartfelt need
in my life.
I was descending from a 14,000 ft. mountain peak after camping. Because my canteen
was almost empty, I had stopped eating to minimize my need for water. It was another hot summer day. I was feeling
ill being in an initial stage of dehydration.
Hours later as darkness fell, I finally found a stream where my thirst was satisfied.
Exhausted, but having no tent or sleeping bag with me (to reduce my backpack weight), I wrapped myself in a waterproof plastic
sheet to sleep. Hypothermia symptoms began to manifest because of my drinking much icy mountain water, no food consumption
to generate body heat and my physical exhaustion. Very tired, I made a very unwise decision not to eat and went into
a restless sleep for a long cold night.
Suddenly I awoke to find myself in my daughter's bedroom looking down upon her as she
slept. I told her I loved her, and then immediately "woke" again to find myself lying on the ground in the forest.
Dawn finally came after a miserable night, and I slowly continued the long hike back to my cabin.
Having tea together several days later, Christine told me of waking and being astonished
to see me in her bedroom telling her I loved her during the night of my ordeal. I then shared my vivid "dream" with
her. Apparently I had an out-of-body experience to communicate my love for her. My body temperature probably dropped
dangerously low that night causing a crisis apparition to appear to my daughter.
My paranormal experience is evidence for the fact you are not your body; you are spirit.
The spirit transcends all physical limitations of "space" and "time" which do not actually exist. They are just an illusion...a
false concept of your reality.
Camping in the forest for about a couple of weeks during autumn, I went to sleep in my
sleeping bag and tent. Deep into the night, I was suddenly awakened by my daughter's voice loudly calling "Father!"
It had a distinct and eerie quality as if we were both in another dimension, the sound resonating as if in a large cavern.
Very startled, I immediately sat up, replying "yes!" expecting to see her in my tent...her voice was so real. But
she was not there!
Interpreting her call to me as a telepathic warning of imminent danger, I quickly scanned
the area around my camp with my flashlight. However, all was dark, still and quiet.
A bear had ripped through my tent on a previous camping trip as I slept, its claws
within a few inches of my neck. Therefore, my concern was she was warning me of another impending bear attack.
(There have been several bear attacks on human beings, with one man killed, in recent years in Colorado.)
This experience is inexplicable to me. Her voice was very clear and urgent.
Perhaps my flashlight beam deterred some threat in the forest, although I saw and heard nothing indicating a lurking
dangerous animal. I slept uneasily for the rest of the night.
I moved into my mountain cabin on a cold night in November, 1985, after a long 1,800-mile journey
from the East Coast. I was finally home... my lifelong dream a reality. The next day was Thanksgiving Day...I
was so joyful! All my life I had wanted to live in the magnificent Rocky Mountains.
It has been many happy years now living in paradise; John Denver's song, "On The Wings Of An
Eagle," could have been written for me. Also, his "To The Wild Country" and "Rocky Mountain High."
I have found in recent years, to my dismay, that my backpack seemed to be getting heavier although
no additional camping equipment was being added. It may be due to my advancing age; society calls me a "senior citizen,"
but I feel like 35.
Carolyn and Susan: You may never read these words, but I believe they will nevertheless
reach your heart. I am very grateful to have known you. You were each a beautiful blessing in my life. I regret
and apologize for the distress I caused you. I was just an unhappy young man. Thank you for being my friend. I
love and wish you well in your life. I will always remember you with deep appreciation.
It does not matter who you were in the past, and what you did, good or evil. The
past does not exist. All time is now. What does matter is who you are now, and what you do.
Is the truth your highest priority in life? Does integrity of character motivate your behavior, or is your ego still
dictating your actions? Examine the premise for your decisions. It is either love or fear. You will experience
joy with every decision based on love, and misery with those from fear.
Use your memory to focus on now, not the non-existent past. Guard your heart
carefully; be vigilant against spiritual corruption. Heaven or hell in your life is always your decision.
My favorite Christmas song is "Oh Holy Night" beautifully and reverently sung by John Denver
(Rocky Mountain Christmas cd/album). I invite you to listen...
I am a very happy man. Each morning just before dawn, I wake to the sweet music of birds
singing in the trees around my mountain cabin. Smiling, I rise and prepare to go outside to have my breakfast.
Stepping off the deck, the forest and mountains seem happy to see me again! I walk a short distance to my "home camp,"
a shady place beneath the trees that I made with several large yellow canvases, rope, wood, rocks, and willow rocking
chair & table...including an electrical outlet for my CD player. Taking off my shoes and opening my picnic basket,
I begin another peaceful breakfast gazing at the beautiful morning sky as the birds continue to sing their joy. After
my leisurely meal, I put a classical, John Denver, or German music compact disc in the player, and listen as I walk in
the wood for awhile. I am a very happy man.
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall
be added unto you." - The Bible (KJV)
I am always receiving wonderful miracles from my Father. Purify
your heart, relinquish your ego, and seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and miracles will be given you.
I testify He knows your needs, and will adequately supply them, but purification of your life is necessary first.
The most important and significant individual in my life
has been my beloved daughter, Christine. I am very grateful she chose me to be her father. It was a love miracle...for
the first time I felt love from my heart for another human being, not just "understand" it with my mind.
She is always giving and teaching love to everyone, and she began with me at her birth. My daughter is "Saint Christine"
to me...a true follower of Christ.
The deepest regret of my life is my realization
of the innumerable times I failed to love other beings. It is very painful for me to remember. I admit my mistakes,
apologize, and ask for their forgiveness.
To my deceased parents... Mom and Dad, I am grateful and
thank you for all the love you gave me. You were faithful to me during some difficult times in my life, which I will
always remember. I love and wish you well. J
***********************************************
I purged
everyone from my life in 1995 except for my daughter, Christine. The realization there was little or no value in relating
to others had finally come to me. Although a human being, I have always felt I do not belong among other human beings.
(Frankly, the mere physical presence of another person within 10 feet of me is disturbing.) This decision should have
been made in my childhood. It would, of course, have been very limited since I was a child, but I could have avoided
considerable stress as I matured.
***********************************************
The Holy Spirit guides and helps me with every decision;
He tells me what I may do each day, and what I should do...always with His specific loving instructions. I am sustained by my Father's love for me through Him.
I
remember a strange experience when I was about 15, being a very unhappy and discouraged teenager. Alone, pondering this meaningless
world, I was suddenly “told” a child would be solely entrusted to me to raise into adulthood. I was bewildered
by this revelation! But 12 years later Christine was born, and 3 years afterwards I was raising her as a single father. This
is just one extraordinary experience among others that I believe came from the Holy Spirit. He is always with me...I need
only to listen and follow His loving guidance.
***********************************************
I ponder the possibility some dreams may prove evidence
for reincarnation. Two unusual dreams:
I was a German officer in command of a squad of soldiers. We had
prepared a trap and ambushed an enemy platoon. Having the high ground on both sides with adequate concealment, our deadly
crossfire was quickly decimating the unfortunate young men below. I ordered a ceasefire and offered the enemy the option
of surrender without further bloodshed. Terrified, they accepted, piled their rifles, and raised their hands in surrender.
I awoke from this dream with much relief I had compassion on the remaining soldiers. They would have died otherwise,
having no escape.
Also, a strange short dream in which I was in a forest on a cold night, sitting on the ground,
my back against a tree. I was alone, in a uniform with a sidearm, no rifle. It seemed I was dying, but had no
wounds. I just remember being very sad. Then I awoke.
